What Minimalism Is To Me

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Minimalism is different for everyone.  Most people have an opinion.  For me, it is a journey to know myself and my world.  It is about eliminating the superfluous and overwhelm that takes up too much time, space and angst.  To get to the essentials that make life wonderful for me.  To be my authentic self.  Not focused on outside expectations or what others think of me.  Changing patterns, appreciating value and quality, getting rid of the crap.  Spending time doing things I enjoy.  I love.  I want.

Minimalism is learning about myself and my connection with others.  I desire to connect with people again.  I miss connection.  I don’t know when I started to worry about what others thought of me.  A performing seal.  For such a long time.  Wracked with anxiety, shame and guilt.  No more.  I want out of the merry go round that tells me I am not good enough and trying to get others to like me.  If they like me, good, if they don’t, I don’t want to care.

Minimalism for me is as simple as being able to go to the wardrobe and see what I can wear.  Know that whatever I put on will fit and look good.  I don’t have to worry.  I don’t have to stand there wasting my time.  Hating my body.  Hating my life because nothing fits and I don’t look good anymore.

Minimalism is as complex as learning to love myself.  Learning that it is OK to be me.  Stripping away the shit and looking at the real me.  My essentials.  The authentic, simple self.  The one that came into this world and lost herself in all the shit.  Minimalism is about finding the good things about myself again and acknowledging them.

Minimalism is about getting what I want from life.  Not more things, but more experiences.  Making life.  Curating.  Not just letting life happen.  Being intentional.  Minimalism gives me opportunities.  It gives me the space and time to live intentionally.  I feel better without the clutter clogging my brain and my space.  I feel better without it clogging my veins.

Minimalism is feeling the air rushing onto your face as you ride a bike into the unknown.  Minimalism is about learning about who and what comes first in your life.  Making those big decisions.  Mulling them over.  Thinking.  Figuring out where I am lying to myself.  We all lie to ourselves, even when we think we are not.  It is about shedding the excuses.  I am not a victim anymore.

You can’t just do minimalism.  I tried.  It doesn’t work.  This way is better though.  Much better.

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